sound advice for teamworkers

If you've been to school, you've probably experienced this: Teamwork.
No single student has ever escaped this curse. Many things have been learned through Teamwork. Many abilities acquired, usually depending on your Implicit School Social Status.

There are many non-mutually-exclusive kinds of teamworkers.
First, there's the Friend. The Friend is the one who will put him/herself with a friend, just to be with a friend, and nobody will do anything until 1 AM the morning of due day.
Then, there are the Leeches. Leeches come in many flavours. There's the Dumb Leech, who will grab the smartest grab-able person and not do shit, just to get the grade.
There's the Smart-but-Lazy Leech, who doesn't care who his/her teammate is, so long as they do the work for them. Nevermind the grade, his exams will make-up for it.
THen, there's of course the One. This is the person who will end up doing everything. Come on, you all know One.

Many precious skills are learned through Teamwork. Perhaps the most important is the ability to find out the people who will do all the work and still let you get credit. People having mastered this skill usually grow up to become some sort of supervisor. Or YOUR BOSS. But, remember, you must not neglect the exploited party. Always be nice to them, because they're the ones you're counting on to save your ass one day. However, do always assure yourself that you have a sizable supply of these at your disposition. It might be a bad idea to always leech off the same one, as resentment builds up and you never know when it might blow up.

One also leans about the great principles of life, such as, if you don't do anything, chances are, someone else will care enough to save their own ass, and maybe yours if you're lucky.
You also learn that you should never leave your team by itself. You need to supervise. Even if you don't do anything relevant. You HAVE TO SUPERVISE. Because the minute you leave the room, that's when People start talking. And you don't want them talking about YOU. Because chances are, they're plotting a way to blame everything on you. And even if they might be right, you can't let that happen.

All fellow teamworkers, you have been warned.