I used to want to be...

I used to want to be a standup comedian.
But I wasn't funny.

It's hard when you're a kid and try to amuse your teddy bears and none of them laugh at your jokes. Heck, I couldn't even imagine them finding me funny. Especially the Red Bear with the judgmental look. That's what I called him. Red Bear. And then there was Green Bear, and Big Bear, and Polar Bear, and Scarf Bear. I never gave names to my teddy bears. People name their plushies, for some reason. I never did. I could never remember what their names were. And it's not like you can ask them to remind you of their names.

Why would people name their toys? It's not like they care. And if they did, who says you got the right name? Your little bear, the one you've named Poochi, maybe every time you call him that he just stares at you and thinks "It's Eduardo!! My name is Eduardo!!"